The Illusion: The Grass is Greener on the Other Side
The phrase “the grass is greener on the other side” captures a common sentiment: the belief that others have it better than us. This perception can lead us to idolising people and idealising circumstances. This can occur in many things like relationship status, career success, lifestyle choices, accomplishments and confidence. But are these beliefs grounded in reality? Let’s explore this experience (that we all experience) and navigate its challenges.
What Does It Mean?
The expression suggests that we often envy what others possess or experience, assuming their lives are more fulfilling or satisfying in comparison to our own. This tendency can lead to dissatisfaction with our own lives, creating a cycle of comparison that can be hard to break.
where did this belief come from?
Comparison Culture
In a world of helping us stay connected, we can become way too connected. If you think about it, we can find out a lot of information about someone’s personal lives if they are willing to share it publicly via social media. We can find out what they did that day, who they saw, what they wore, where they are travelling, what they ate, how they could be feeling, etc. Imagine how much content our mind has to start comparing if we perceive someone’s else’s life as more interesting or fulfilling compared to ours.
Unrealistic Expectations
In a world of toxic positivity, we have become quite skilful at convincing ourselves that what we see is what we get. This selective perception fosters the illusion that the grass is indeed greener on the other side.
FOMO (Fear of Missing Out)
The fear of missing out can push us to constantly seek what others have, leading to feelings of inadequacy and discontentment as it might not be what we genuinely want.
The Impact of This Mindset
Increased Anxiety and Stress
Relationship Strain
Regret and Dissatisfaction
Finding Contentment
Practice gratitude
Limit social media use
Focus on your journey and what is in your control
Engage in self-reflection
Celebrate others’ successes
This belief and the perception associated is a common human experience. It does not have to dictate our happiness as we can try to recognise what we can do. We can realise the illusion behind this mindset and actively choose to work on cultivating gratitude, self-awareness and learn to appreciate our own lives more fully. As cliche as it sounds, true contentment comes from within. By focusing on our own personal growth, we start to realise, “the garden is not greener on the other side, it is green where you water it”.
