Culture conflict: The black sheep
In every family or social group, there’s often a few people who stands out for their unique views, values and choices. These people can sometimes view themselves as the “black sheep”. While this term can sound negative, being the black sheep can be a sign of individuality and strength, and of course, different from the norm. In this blog, I write about how culture can play a role in the “black sheep” concept, the conflicts that can occur, and how to navigate and accept this role.
Cultural influences on the “black sheep” experience
Generational gaps: Older generations may hold traditional and conservative beliefs and values. Younger generations are more likely to embrace progressive ideas and lifestyles that can be challenging to older generations. This generational gap can lead to misunderstandings and feelings of disconnectedness.
Expectations and norms: There can be varying expectations on how one should behave, roles they should play, and how they should contribute to their family and society. In many traditional cultures, there can be a strong need to conform, respect elders and adhere to established roles and rules. Stepping away from these cultural norms can feel polarising and isolating.
Specifically in collectivistic cultures, where community and family are prioritised over individual desires, stepping away from expected and assumed roles can be met with judgement and resistance.
Family dynamics: Family expectations and dynamics play a significant role in shaping our identity. In some families, there could be a strong legacy of certain professions that are perceived as higher in status, influencing our decisions in career paths and ultimately, life choices. In some families, it could involve spiritual practices that are guided by rules of what is acceptable. There could also be expectations of gender roles and what choices and responsibilities are within scope of the norm. Choosing a different path can create friction and lead to feelings of alienation.
Embracing who you are
It can be challenging and conflicting to make decisions based on what we want, when it is against the ideals of what is acceptable in our family and culture. Ultimately, we all want to feel accepted and celebrated. This can begin by investing in the relationship you have with yourself through self-acceptance. We can recognise that being different can be a strength rather than a weakness, and that our unique path can lead to personal fulfilment and a sense of purpose.
We can try and communicate openly and honestly with our family members to help bridge gaps and create understanding. It can be difficult at times if there is a language barrier however, this could be an opportunity to expand our vocabulary or seek support by obtaining support externally. Communicating our values, goals and reasonings can help our family understand and reflect on our decisions.
There are families that we have and there are families that we make through our support networks. Consider people outside your immediate family or cultural context, as it can be incredibly valuable to connect with others who are like-minded. These people can help normalise our experiences, provide validation and be a source of encouragement that we can appreciate.
Being the black sheep often means forging your own path. It is meaningful to celebrate your journey, including successes and challenges. Reflect on the way your experiences shaped you and how they contribute to your personal growth. Your path can be a source of inspiration for others who feel alone and do not have role models of alternative choices that are equally as worthwhile.
